New Day. New Blog

CrazyCatLadyIsGettingHuge.wordpress.com

 

Join me.

2/28/2013

It would have been super helpful that if they told me after my ultrasound that I may have some spotting… because I totally freaked out.

I saw the spotting, it was grayish/brown/maroon and literally grabbed my phone and headed to LMs office. I know her office is safe from ears and I can use it as a safe space 🙂 So I go over there and ask her what to do… she told me that she believes that spotting after an vaginal ultrasound is pretty normal but I decided to call. So I call, and I have a message, of course, for the Triage nurse. I tried to call Ty… he didnt answer so I text him. Then the nurse calls back and tells me it is normal and if the spotting is bright red, then I need to be concerned… I tell the nurse I love her…. I hug LM and the ordeal is done…

Totally would have been helpful to know.

2/27/2013

Ultrasound day.

Dont google your ultrasound  It leads to bad things. I was prepared for the worst, not seeing a baby and having to go through the entire ectopic thing again and the best, seeing something. A fetal pole, a blob, a dot, I didnt care. I worried the entire way to the office. Our appointment was at 3:15pm and the hour drive from my office to their office really wears on my bladder. I peed immediately when I got there. I almost peed my pants checking in. Ty got there around 3pm and we waited. They called us, I got weighed (Ty got nervous because he thought I weighed less than I should) and was told that the ultrasound would be a vaginal one… Hello Didlo Wand.

So I got undressed and Diane checked my uterus to see how it tips and inserted the wand. She then told me I needed to pee before she could proceed  I literally peed about 20 minutes before, how was this possible… but it was, I scooted my little naked butt into the bathroom and peed. I got back up on the table and Diane inserted the Dildo… She was quiet. I was tense. Ty was peering over the table to the screen. Then she said, yep, I can see the sac and the fetal pole is right there…. Then she told me my bowls were full, which, is probably true because up until that day, I pooped EVERY DAMN DAY in the evening. She then called in Kristen, remember her, to double check since Diane thought I was about 6 weeks. I tried to tell Diane that I ovulated on Cycle Day 19/21 so I probably was 5 weeks and 4 or 5 days.

Kristen came in and was surprised and happy to see us. So she proceeds to insert the wand and do alittle exploring. She then said the same thing, there is the sac and there is the fetal pole. I started to cry alittle. She also told me to rest my legs against her body and to relax. So I tried to.  Kristen said that she thought it was too early to heart the heartbeat but wanted to go over my timing again. We decided I was 5 Weeks and 4 days… thus why they could not hear the heart beat. Kristen said it would be best to have me come back in two weeks but knowing me, maybe a week would be best. So, on March 7th we have another ultrasound. She also mentioned I had a small cyst on my ovary which was normal and my ovaries and uterus looked good. Go me.

Funny thing, as I am laying there, pants-less  waiting to get dressed, Ty asks Diane about his SA results. She types something into the computer but said she did not have them. Ty said he just wanted to know them just because… Diane and I both looked at each other both thinking the same thing… your boys did their job what else do you need to know. But Ty wants to know…

2/18/2013, 2/20/2013 and 2/21/2013

Blood Tests…. As soon as I got my positive pregnancy test I knew that blood tests would be in my near future…. My first was on Monday morning at 6:30am on Feb 18th and my second was at 6:30am on the 20th. Of course, since I talked to Jennie on Saturday the 16th and she was at the hospital, I knew that having the order ready to go at 6:30am Monday Morning would be slim to none… When I got to Fanny Allen, I checked in and waited. The phlebotomist came out and said she didnt have the order. My heart sank. Not only did It sink because I knew no one would be at the office to call to check on the order but now I would be late to work. But this lovely girl at the Fanny Allen office called Maitri, someone was actually there, and got my tests confirmed. I was in and out. On Wednesday, in and out and done…

 

Thursday I had my phone with me the entire day… waiting on the call about my results. The ONE DAMN time I leave my phone at the front office for about 5 minutes, it rings. I have a message and the message is Jean the tiage nurse at Maitri saying everything looks good and that we need to schedule an ultrasound for 6 weeks, 8 weeks and then my prenatal appointment. I WAS SHAKING!!! God bless the world. I tried calling the office back but I got voicemail. Figures. I have to go into LMs office to make any baby related calls because I dont want my office to know yet… just because of our past history. They called back and I took it in the conference room where I spoke really low… My numbers were 196 on Monday and 593 on Wednesday. We set up the ultrasound for February 27th and my first prenatal for March 26th. I was literally dancing on the ceiling!

2/16/2013

We got a late Valentine’s Day Present in the form of a Positive Pregnancy Test.

Of course, I tested on Valentine’s Day and it was negative. It was a disappointment but I figured we would just continue with the HSG testing and see what happened.

I was still feeling alittle off so Tyler told me to take a test on Saturday morning. I peed on the stick not thinking anything of it and got in the shower since I had work that weekend. Low and behold, I get out of the shower and it says POSITIVE. Tyler and I hugged and cried alittle as I was still wet and naked. My whole body was shaking. We called Sarah and  my mom (and yes, in that order) and he told his parents. I went to work… crying the entire way because I was so excited and so scared. I told LM when I got into work… and at that point it didn’t matter what happened at work, I was happy.

This was actually the day that Dr. Jennie called me from the Hospital to give me the results of the Progesterone Test. In that blog I told you what happened but there is more to the story. The reason I called her back at the hospital was because I was going to have to call her anyway to get a blood test on Monday. When she answered the phone to give me the results, I told her I knew them already since I had a positive pregnancy test. She told me that my level was through the roof and that was a good thing considering the positive test.

Upon going home I decided to take another test, just because. Well, we had a come to Jesus moment. That bastard said “Not Pregnant”. I was upset, sad and thinking OH NO! Well I decided to take the test apart and see if I could see the blue line. Mind you, Tyler was on his way home at this point. I probably should have thought how to break open a test but instead I grabbed a small screw driver and little hammer. As I am trying to pry this thing open, while I have the test that said pregnant literally staring at me still on the table, Ty comes home. He walks in on me and goes “We need to not be this crazy, lets get off this train, what are you doing?” So I tell him and he takes a look at the stick, removes the pee on part and then sticks a pen into the empty slot and the things magically opens… Should have thought that one through in hindsight. We see the double lines. Faint but its there.

I tested every day with the various tests I had laying around until 2/23/13, because well, you never know.

 

Checking In – I am not dead

Hello All, I am deep in tax season / getting our kitchen cabinets season and thus that is why I have been absent from my blog. Its not that I dont love you all and that we dont have funny stuff happening to us, its that I am too damn tired to do jack shit when I get home at night other than eat, yoga and then sleep.

 

Ty and I are doing well. The kitchen cabinets are coming today and we should be ordering the counter tops ASAP. We are back in the living room which is so nice since we are no longer confined to the bedroom. The cats have gotten a new cat tree which is great, because it has a cat hammock, which will be so cute, if someone would use it! We have our new furniture which comfortably fits both Ty and I laying together as well as the dog and both cats. So we have one big happy family.

 

We are still on this crazycatlady baby journey and we are awaiting some test results to see what our next steps will be. Truthfully, I have let go of trying to control everything since meeting with Jennie as well as getting my Monitor. Its a nice feeling.

 

I have been writing a bunch down so that I can remember to blog about it when tax season is over so dont worry, more humor to come!

 

Crazycatladystalksdrjennie

On Saturday while I was at work my cell phone rang. The caller ID said it was FAHC pre-registration. I looked at the phone as if it was crazy because I was not scheduled for any tests yet so I ignored it. They left a voicemail.

As I listened to the message it was Jennie with my blood test results… She said she was on call at the hospital and she was killing time as she waited to deliver a baby and she hoped she would catch me but since she didn’t she would call on Monday.

Oh hell no. We are discussing these results today. So I call the number back and the message says “you reached this number because someone called you from the hospital. This number is a generalized number and you will not be able to reach the person who called you. Please dial the number they left on the message to reach them.”

DAMN it!!! She didn’t leave a number! But… The last line of the message said “stay on the line to have the operator connect you with an extension.”

BING-fucking-O

So I speak to the operator and tell them that my doctor called but didn’t leave a number and maybe they could page them for me. She did.

Jennie and I talked. My progestrone level was through the roof. Go me! She then asked “how did you get through to me?” UT OH… So I tell her and she laughed and told me I was not the first person to do that.

Thankfully… I may be crazy but I’m not the only one.

Now we wait for Tyler’s results later this weeks!

Cup Lovin and Update

Tuesday was the day. Ty made love to a cup. His appointment was at 11:00am at the hospital, which meant that he needed to be out of the house by 10:20am. I called Tyler at 9:55am just to make sure that he didnt forget and that he knew where the department was in the hospital and that he had clean hands. He didnt answer my phone call.

 

When he did call back he said “I know how to Jizz in a cup, I dont need you to micro manage something that is very easy for me to do”. So maybe he has made love to a cup before? I didnt ask but its done. So now we wait. I am on Cycle Day 30, so four more days and I should have my period, Ill call the doctor to schedule my HSG and then we will wait for the results of the blood test and the Sperm analysis. So Fingers crossed!

I had acupuncture last Saturday evening and Scott treated my back as normal as well as two points just above the nape of my neck, which is used for headaches and neck pains. It is a point that frequently carries the physical tension of the body. When our immunity is under siege, fighting sickness such as a common cold, this point can become tender and achy upon touch. It is also a very good point for regulating blood pressure and blood circulation. When Scott put the needles in, OH MY GOD…. it felt so good. It was like bending over and hanging, I did feel the tension release. It was AMAZING!

 

I am no longer taking the Tea Tree Pills and I actually stopped the Milk Thistle and Zinc. I still feel wonderful so that’s always good, my body has changed for the better! The reason I stopped taking them was because I want to start fresh. Scott did give me some Herbs which look like wood bark, I was told to boil them in 5 cups of water for 45 minutes and drink some in the morning and evening (one 5 cup boil should take me two days per Scott) as Tea. Scott said that the herbs would be sweet but to me they taste alittle bit like Miso Soup that I used to get at Price Chopper.  Which now that I think about it, I will be ordering from Amazon after I am done this post.

 

But anyway, so I am addicted to this herbal tea, wood barky stuff. I like crave it. So way to go Scott! My next appointment with Scott is this Saturday at 6:30pm. I hate the late appointments but thus is the curse of tax season.

 

So this cycle I am okay with whatever happens. I am not hoping for anything, I wont be devastated. I will just be. Things will happen for us and hopefully we are on the right track. I already know we have a great team behind us so we can only go up from here.

Tax Season – Let Me Help you, Help Us

This is a totally off topic post but I am going to write it just because, well I can, its my blog 🙂

 

So this tax season, if you are using a CPA, I would suggest the following to make your accountants job a bit easier.

1. If you come to the office to drop off your information, please have it ready to drop off. Dont have 5 different bags of stuff to dump on to our conference table and then sort through.
2. Please do not set up a meeting with your accountant, especially if your situation has not changed (an additional W2 does not constitute CHANGE). A meeting is only needed for new clients or clients that have a difficult tax situation. We do charge for our time so if you block off an hour to pull out each tax document individually to show to your accountant as if it is their first time seeing a W2, you will be charged.Open and remove all envelopes, it saves us time (and you money because we charge by the hour) and we know that you have looked at what was sent to you.
3. If you are going to write a note to your accountant, use regular white paper… 8 x 11 and write clearly. If someone has ever said to you that they have a hard time reading your writing, please type the note opposed to writing it.
4. If you use pencil, please press hard
5. Do not staple documents together, or Tape for that matter or paperclips either
6. If you are printing out an excel spreadsheet, think about the readability of it, better yet, give us a copy of it so we can print it properly.
7. Do not provide us with Tax Forms… if your CPA does not have the proper tax forms, I would re-evaluate your accountant.
8. If you are going to have your CPA do your children’s tax return, please put the information separately so that we are aware of your intentions
9. If you are using paper larger than legal or letter size most likely it will be difficult for your accountant to read. Many offices are digital and your records are being securely scanned, large paper is very difficult for us.
10. Do not use sticky notes on your information, they always stick to the wrong thing
11. Dark highlighters are our enemies, please dont use them.
12. If you receive an “organizer” from your accountant, do not try to place your tax documents between the organizer pages. You are wasting your time because we will most likely remove them
13. Do not come to your accountants with a box of receipts. If you do, please have them tallied, it will save you money since we will charge by the hour to tally them
14. If you call your accountant several times as if they are your therapist, know that we bill you for our time… all our time. Don’t be surprised if you have a larger bill than normal
15. If you are going on vacation or traveling please let us know that you will be away and the dates that you will be away. Do not assume since you put that information on a 2 by 2 sticky note in the bottom of your envelope that we will see that right away
16. When you receive your tax return in the mail from us, please open it. We cannot file your return for you without your signature.
17. When you do open your tax return please read all directions. CPAs use Sign and Date stickers for a reason
18. If you receive a notice, please call us, don’t immediately pay it and DONT IGNORE IT, call us. Not all notices are correct and not all notices mean that the government is after you.
19. If you come to our offices to pick up your return, announcing “I am hear to pick up my return” to the front office does not help. Please say, “I am Joe Smith here to pick up my return”. Even though we may remember you, it is very helpful to say who you are.
20. If you call your accountant before 7:30am or after 7:30pm with a super important question, please dont be upset that they are not answering their phones… Accountants have families too.
21. This is a before tax season item but helpful to remember, if you call on December 31, 20XX asking if there is anything you can do to help reduce your tax liability… most likely the answer is probably not. If you called December 15, 20XX and asked the same question, we can help you.
22. If you plan to buy something large or sell something large… a. let us know BEFORE you buy or sell, the day of does not count as BEFORE b. don’t assume you will get a deduction c. Dont buy something for the deduction only d. keep all your records and provide them to us
23. If you need copies of your return we are happy to provide them… if we securely email them to you, please dont ask for them multiple times throughout the year… look at your email or save your email, because we will charge for our time to send them to you via email for the 5th time.
24. If you are faxing something over, please don’t call before the fax has been fully sent and ask if we got your fax… no we haven’t because you have not SENT it yet.
25. Ever heard of PITA? Its the Pain In The Ass charge… we don’t actually charge for being a pain but we wish we could.

 

Just some tips to make your relationship with your tax preparer a joyous one 🙂

EWCM

EWCM is more like EWWWWWWWWWW what the fuck to my husband and more like OMG YES to me.

Last Saturday I was cleaning my house like I normally do on the weekend. I have OCD or something where I must clean my house on the weekend. During the week does not cut it nor count in my eyes. So I clean on the weekend. Anyway As I cleaned, Ty was screwing around with the house and his brother, Jeff Not the Cat, came over to screw around too. As I was cleaning I got a colon kick and pooped. In the toilet  not where I was cleaning, which if you read that how it is written you may have assumed that. Anyway, The book Taking Charge of your Fertility said its best to check cervical mucus after dropping the kids off at the pool… so I did.

I immediately called Ty into the bedroom. He yelled from the living room “If this is another ‘come look at the cat because it is doing something cute’, Im not coming” and I screamed back, “COME NOW”. So he thinks its an emergency… He comes sliding down the hallway (literally the floor is slippery because of all the wood dust that we are making creating the mudroom and railings) and goes “WHATS WRONG”.

I am standing there proudly, pants down… Hand risen in the air as if I was Miss America waving to all her subjects, Thumb and Index finger touching… He looks at me, and I spread those fingers widely and smile. I whispher, “Egg White Cervical Mucus, I am going to ovulate soon and your boys will be happy swimming in it because its PERFECT for spermies. We totally need to do it”. He looks at me and goes “EWWWWWW GROSS, dont touch me with that….”.

I guess he wasn’t as excited as I was.

And maybe I need to pull my pants up because I seem to forget to do that alot when I am in a panic or excited.