Smelly Balls? Or Smelly Hair?

28 Jan

My Name is Mariann and I am an over hair washer. I wash my hair daily because I get oily. Even when I use just a clarifying shampoo and NOTHING else, the next day, I can make french fries in my hair. On Sunday morning Ty and I decided that we would be going to look for a new living room set. Our current set is an off white micro-suede that has become so dirty from animals and a husband that does not take his painting clothes off at the end of the work day that we cannot have it in our newly redone space. It would defeat the purpose of the remodel. Of course, we are going to keep the couch for the basement. Ty is going to try to clean the set again today before we plunk down more money we dont have but I am telling you and everyone on the internet, ITS IMPOSSIBLE TO CLEAN…. You cant use water so you need to use alcohol, its a hot mess. Dont get White Micro Suede unless you want to replace a couch after 6 years.

 

So anyway, in my quest to not wash my hair every day, I decided that I would use my dry shampoo. Dry Shampoo and I have a love hate relationship. I want to love it but I really hate it. It does not make my second day hair look good, it only slightly masks the oil but it at least covers up some of the oil and makes it wearable in a ponytail. I start to spray the dry shampoo and nothing… I am out. Well I improvise and put some powder in my hair and brush it out. I mean, its the same damn stuff basically, talc sucks up oil so what the hell right.

 

Well I come out to the living room and I have powder all down my face and shirt and I tell Ty I will be ready in about 5 minutes. He looks at me and says, “What did you do” and I say, “I used powder to make my hair less oily, I ran out of my dry shampoo.” I am standing there thinking my husband would applaud my¬†frugality but no… he goes, “You used my ball powder in your hair?!?!? Come here, let me smell you”… I walk over, head hanging low, and he smells me . “YOU SMELL LIKE MY BALLS”.

 

Awesome

 

Anyway, we go on with our day. Fast forward to sexy time, considering we are within 4 days of when I think I ovulated last month… its getting alittle rowdy and then Ty sniffs the air. He tells me he is sorry that he smells and that he should have showered although he showered last night. I stop and think for a moment, consider not saying anything but do because I am a good wife, “Its not you, its me, Its my hair”. Tyler then sniffs my hair again and goes “OH YEAH, Your hair totally smells like dirty balls!”.

 

Here’s to sexy time and dirty balls!

 

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2 Responses to “Smelly Balls? Or Smelly Hair?”

  1. fromheretomotherhood January 28, 2013 at 10:42 am #

    Once again, you have made me laugh with your antics!

    • maretilton January 28, 2013 at 11:08 am #

      I thought it was a brilliant idea personally

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