Screw the 2ww what about the 3day countdown

14 Jan

Im serious. Two weeks… Okay, its stressful. Double checking every symptom. Reading into temperature drops and twinges. It’s not fun but for me the three days before my period start day is the WORST.

It’s like living moment to moment worried about the wetness of your panties. It’s seriously minutes consumed by me thinking I got my period, going to the bathroom, pulling my panties down… Coming out of the bathroom sans tampon. I’m sure work thinks I am doing something odd in the bathroom. I throw in an occasional flush here and there but then feel bad about wasting water.

Three days…. Waiting for my period to come or to be decidedly fashionably late to the party feels like an eternity.

Of course since my period has taken on a mind of its own…returning every 32 to 38 days (seriously about a week late come on body, that’s just not fair) up from my 33 day perfect cycle that I wore proudly for three years, makes the wait unbearable.

Today I am at T-minus two days, Wednesday is the big day for me (although Fertility Friend says I can Test tomorrow, I doubt I am pregnant even though my boobs HURT like HURTTTTTTTTTTT). I’ll do my normal routine, wear a liner just in case. At 35 days and no period, I just start putting in a tampon (which my iPads autocorrect changed to “harpoon” at first, very odd and slightly distrubing) when I am getting negative hcg tests.

Is this my month? No. My chart looks good but I am not loving the drop I had on Sunday. Of course I had a fitful night of sleep filled with being angry about my husband downstairs drinking til 1am when he needed to get up at 6am (which I knew would not happen if he was drinking and it didn’t and he’s hung over) and my nightly routine was screwed up. I will always tell Ty what we want out of the temperature in the morning. So this week same or higher than yesterday’s. I think saying out loud makes it so. It’s like a sports ritual. We spent one phillies baseball season listening to MLB live with my hand down Ty’s pants holding his penis. They were the division champions that year but not the World Series winners. I attribute that to missing a very important game and not having my hand on his dick. The next season, no hand on his dick during any game and they SUCKED. So I believe in that stuff. I tried to say “higher or same as today’s”  to the cat and the dog, but its not the same. My temp took a .39 degree drop, not horrible but a rather large drop considering .24 has been the biggest drop this phase.

Is hope lost? No. This cycle has shown me my body wants to be pregnant. Or at least that’s how I’m taking it. The cycle has also reminded me that my boobs can HURT, the little mounds that they are can hurt (although slightly misleading because the last time they hurt, I was pregnant). I have gotten to know my cervix a lot better so that’s always a good thing… And now Ty and I will wait til the 30th. I literally have my write up and charts already to send ahead of time (meaning I get my period and those bad boys go in the mail) and hopefully they don’t turn us away / cancel our appointment and say come back sometime in June.

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4 Responses to “Screw the 2ww what about the 3day countdown”

  1. fromheretomotherhood January 14, 2013 at 11:52 am #

    There were a few cycles where I treated the 3 day countdown like it was some of kind cumulative thing. Like if I don’t get my period in the next 3 hours it’s going to be a sign that I’m not going to get it . . . .not exactly how a period works. It’s kinda all or nothing, no huge lead up (although some do get spotting before hand and this has started to happen to me several hours before full flow).

    • maretilton January 14, 2013 at 8:43 pm #

      I bought some fancy pregnancy tests today and it confirmed I can stop waiting… A big fat NOT PREGNANT.

      Totally looking forward to our appointment, which will be one of many…

      And now just waiting for the period to start… Maybe I’ll have the hubby poke it out tonight 🙂

  2. Kristin Sweigard January 14, 2013 at 12:30 pm #

    Mare, I would just fudge it by a few months and say you have been trying for a year. If you feel like something is not right, then you need to stand by that and get the help you need. I knew something wasn’t right and so glad I fudged the months by about 6.

    • maretilton January 14, 2013 at 12:59 pm #

      You are too funny! So we went in June for a consult so I cant fudge too much before that. What I did do was Starting in March of 2012 I may or may not have added a few more days of sex during the month, around the fertile period. I seriously have a huge write up on it. I am hitting on the tubal pregnancy as well as a few other positive tests only to get my period the next day (and we are talking the pregnancy tests that physically say “PREGNANT”). I am keeping my fingers crossed though.

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