Slanket Sex

4 Jan

Yes, you read that right… Slanket Sex.

For you that are not aware of where we live – its the arctic tundra. Think Star Wars the Empire Strikes Back beginning of the movie – epic cold. The scene where Hans cuts open a Hoth and puts Luke in there (which cutting open an animal will not warm anyone up, I read up on it while writting this post). It was negative 15 degrees here this week. That’s crazy. Its Crazy that I live here, Miss Cold Hands Cold Feet… I freeze on a daily basis. My bed consists of flannel sheets, comforter with a flannel duvet, a fleece blanket on top of the comforter, another fleece blanket hanging out just in case on the bed, a Phillies Fleece Throw, a Bath and Body Works Lambie Blanket, and a  gray fleece throw. I am a warm little girl in bed. But its THAT COLD.

For Christmas Jeff, the brother in law not the cat, got me a Slanket. Its the Original Snuggie. Apparently the Slanket is warmer and better quality fabric then the snuggie. I guess it didnt take off because the word Slanket doesnt sound as appealing as Snuggie. Anyway, So I have a Forest Green Slanket which is like a super long Fleece blanket with arms and a pouch (which I am trying to lure Jeff the cat to snuggle into because really, wouldnt that be the epitome of cuteness, a cat in a slanket pouch?). Its really warm.

So In our quest to make a baby during what we think is ovulation time (which may or not be because I have not gotten a positive ovulation kit in two months but my temperatures indicated ovulation so know hows… we could be fucking like bunnies for nothing – well not for nothing but there are some night when you just want to go to bed) we try to stay warm while bumping uglies.

Our house up until last week was mostly insulated but not fully. We are still working on the kitchen (Ill post another update soon) and the addition. So our house can get pretty dang cold.

Cue having sex, Of course, I am on the bottom with a pillow under my ass for optimal assistance for a sperm to cervix pathway. Ty is on top of me, the dog, is either on the bed freaking out or ripping his own bed on the floor apart (because he feeds off of Tys emotions and humps his bed when Ty humps me) and the covers are all over the place because how can anyone keep track of that many blankets. The other day, it was cold. VERY COLD. Ty lifts up my shirt and Im like WHOA buddy, its freezing the Girls need to stay covered. I then mentioned that I would also like a blankeyt over my already long sleeve shirt covered torso. Ty responds “Put on your slanket”.

We had sex while I had my slanket on.

My arms were in the sleeve holes, clutching Tyler close. The bottom of the blanket was bunched up on my torso, Ty was lifting it for access to the girls. I was fucking warm as shit as I was taking a trip to plow town.

How do Eskimo’s Do it?

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7 Responses to “Slanket Sex”

  1. Mrs. Wuestewald January 4, 2013 at 1:40 pm #

    OK, we live in California and it doesn’t even get that cold but when its in the 50’s it feel freaking cold when your not used to it. So when get down to it i am always like shirt is staying on and blankets must stay over us….not all that sexy but it get the job done for ttc. Ii even have some knee high socks and kept them on once. Your post made me smile i love the realness.

  2. fromheretomotherhood January 4, 2013 at 1:51 pm #

    hilarious sexcapade!

  3. Kathryn January 4, 2013 at 6:23 pm #

    oh my gosh, I love your raw truth, it’s one of your best qualities! You’re such a SLANK! (is that what you call someone who has slanket sex?) 🙂

  4. SM January 4, 2013 at 9:18 pm #

    Oh my God I have missed you so much! Epic!

  5. nobodysperfick January 5, 2013 at 10:22 am #

    Hee-freaking-larious. I needed a laugh like this.

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