Acupuncture Update #10 and Biopsy Results

7 Dec

So after yesterdays emotional breakdown I went to Acupuncture at 5:30. I gave Scott my daily update as I normally do and said that I was weepy. As soon as I got there, Scott asked what was wrong and I wanted to cry but didnt… a question as simple as that would usually result in an answer almost as simple such as “work was hard today”, “I missed lunch”, “I am broke this week”… but I couldn’t answer it.

I could have said:

  • I hate
  • I hate my vaginal temperatures
  • I hate my liver
  • I thought I would be pregnant by now and telling my mom she was going to be a grandmom for Christmas
  • Sex isnt fun anymore
  • My body is failing me
  • What the fuck is cervical fluid / cervical position
  • I feel like a failure
  • I feel like people are depending on me to get pregnant and its not happening
  • The Two week wait sucks

Any number of things but I couldn’t articulate it. I just told him I was just weepy and not sure why. I also told Scott that Ty was doing his homework and that he really appreciated the man to man talk last week.

Scott felt around my tummy and kept asking if I had pain on my lower right side when he pressed down. It wasn’t pain but pressure… I dont know, I think I hate whatever organ he is touching and feeling something “off”.

He worked on my back again, working on points that would calm my soul and call to the unborn child. One point on my lower left back HURT. I mean when he put the needle in my body flinched. That was the first time EVER I have felt the needle. Scott obviously noticed the flinch and asked if it still hurt, but once it was in there, no pain. While I didnt fall asleep while resting I did have alot of black space, nothingness, zero going on between the ears… which was nice. I did feel a pulling sensation in that lower left back point which directly extend to my right lower front side. This point calls to the unborn child and is supposed to relive any blockage to conception / remove any emotion from a previously failed conception. And back in 2010, my right side was where they believed the baby to be nestled.

Scott and I scheduled an appointment for next Saturday at 6:00pm because his week is really booked with the impending holiday. I told him that I would be calling  him probably mid-week for some more tea tree pills and have Ty pick them up. Overall, it was a good session. I felt more level and calm when I left. I felt a balance and sense of okay with where things were going.

I woke up this morning feeling the same, less weepy and more determined to figure out what is going on with me and my body. I went to the doctors to have my stitches removed and find out the results of the biopsy, everything looks OKAY… but not wonderful. Both moles were moderate, meaning that they could have become cancerous and that I need to watch my other moles and come back in six months. One positive point is that I apparently heal quickly and these stitches could have come out in three days 🙂

So that’s where I am at… Tonight it our office Christmas party and I am DD again (last year, I couldn’t drink because I had a dental implant a week before and alcohol was a NO NO). I think the holidays are the most difficult when it comes to not drinking, especially for a girl that LOVES to drink. Maybe I will have a half of a glass of wine but most likely not considering I am not sure where I really am in my cycle.


Everyone have a good weekend 🙂


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