Why cant I just f**k my wife?

6 Dec

Since my ovulation is a mystery this month, although I believe it did happen on the 26th – not the 28th like FertilityFriend.com says – Ty and I have been getting busy in the bedroom constantly. I am actually looking forward to a few days of being able to relax and actually having sex when the mood strikes opposed to depending on what I believe is my fertility window.

On Sunday night after we did yoga and he did his exercises that Scott prescribed, I decided to check my Cervix. Why? I have no idea, it seemed like the thing to do at that moment in time.

What am I looking for… WHO THE FUCK KNOWS. Its like Cervical Mucus, I have no idea what I am looking for… let alone feeling for. But I did feel something – it felt open and medium firm and high. So I thought maybe I could still be fertile…. I told Ty to take a check but he politely declined and said “lets just do it”.

So we are all business at this point.

I go into the bedroom, bend over the bed and wiggle my naked ass in the air. Ty comes in behind me and is all like Ohhhhh LaLa look at that ass. BUT…

  1. My Hands were cold – So that was a buzz kill. Like BIG Time.
  2. Once we solved that issue and got him all raring to go… I wasn’t raring to go. It was like his Penis sucked up all moisture as if it was a plant that someone forgot to water for a month. Moisture GONE.
  3. Ty says we should get some lube… and I did have that unopened box of Conceive Plus that I was going to not use until I spoke with someone but thought what the hell so I tell Ty to go get it from the steps to the basement (it was in the amazon box just waiting for someone to bring it upstairs).
  4. Ty runs out to get it… he comes back and goes, “Now we have two problems” pointing to his member that is no longer excited. Ty said he felt weird running downstairs half naked and felt like Jeff (the cat although if it was his brother it would make for a funnier story) was staring at him. As a Side note, Pepper was sitting on the bed staring at us, even after we put her on the floor she jumped back up, she really was comfy I guess.
  5. I open the box of the Conceive Plus, only insert half of the tube because  I was told that it makes you feel like a “water-slide” while Ty is trying to resolve his issue.Ty gets slightly grossed out by me inserting an applicator tube into my Vajayjay and squeezing (it did make that like almost empty fart Shampoo noise which made me laugh and then squirted some lube out from my Vajayjay).
  6. I thought that maybe some porn would help him so I queue some up on my iphone and rest it on my lower back (remember I am bent over the bed)… Ty does not find this funny or helpful, he places it to the side of me.
  7. Then it all clicked.

After everything was done, SoftCup inserted, Ty goes… “Why cant I just be one of those guys that fucks their wives? Why do I need to be all sensitive about it?”.

I guess I am a lucky gal, my husband wants to make love to me… But doesnt he know having a baby isnt about love (well it is, we love each other and all that jazz) but its about about putting the time in and getting it done. 20% chance per month are odds that are just not forever in our favor.

Baby Dust to All trying this month!

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One Response to “Why cant I just f**k my wife?”

  1. SM December 6, 2012 at 12:40 pm #

    Ahahahaha! Water slide! I hate that “baby-dancing” shit floating around the internetz. We just have sex. All the time. It’s not as sexy or fun as it sounds.

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