Acceptance

18 Oct

I have been debating about writing this blog for some time. Not because I was unsure of what to write but because I didn’t want to offend any of my readers that are going through this but I think its time to write about it.

I would say 85% of my friends are LGBT. I have watched many of my friends come out to friends and family members. Some have been accepted with open arms by their friends and family, others have not. Even the ones that have been accepted still deal with being out in the workforce, out in the public eye etc…

It pains me to watch friends and family members have to deal with that. You should be able to freely hold the hand of whoever you love. Give a kiss (and I’m not saying make out in public, I don’t care if you are two dudes, two girls, male and female… making out in public is NASTY. Get a Room!). Get married. Receive benefits for your spouse. Have what everyone else has.

It pains me to see dear friends of mine struggle with trying to keep some kind of relationship with their family who rejects the notion of being gay.

While I feel horrible that my friends have to deal with losing touch with their family, I feel absolutely worse for the family that is rejecting them. Why? Besides the fact that I think they are ass wipes but seriously Because they are missing out on knowing some really truly awesome people. I could not imagine living in a world so small and so closed. I also cannot imagine judging another person. I feel bad for sisters and brothers that lose their childhood best friend. I feel bad for mothers and fathers that lose their son or daughter. And its over something so silly.

Being LGBT does not change anything about you. It does not change your childhood. It does not change your first steps. It does not change your first word. It does not change graduation day. It does not change the day you learned to ride a bike. It does not change your laugh. It does not change any of that.

While I understand religious views, I also understand that no one here on earth is the end all be all judge. If you disagree because of religious views, that is okay, but don’t write off some pretty awesome people. I also think being a judge of another person is some pretty sticky stuff. I mean, I am pretty sure, no one on earth is perfect. Also, no one made you God. Or whatever higher power you believe in.

One thing I was taught, and I am considered Catholic but not practicing, is that you Do unto Others as you would have done unto you – so how is condemning someone following that golden rule? Yeah, I didnt think there was an answer for that one, and sure, all the people who are homophobic  can get back to me when you figure out how to answer that.

My mom used to tell me she would be happy if I do two things in my life

  • Score over 1,000 on my SATs (Obviously my mom did not think I was an achiever lol but whatever)
  • Find someone to love and someone that loves me

I did score over the 1,000 on my SATs and I did find someone to love and someone to love me. Do I think my mom would have reacted differently if Tyler was a woman or transgendered? Yes, she probably would have but she would have came around.

I think that should be a hope for any parent. Most parents want their kids to be happy… Happy involves so many factors and one of them in love. Who cares if you love a man or a woman (or a cat). As long as you find happiness, I think parents should be happy. You raised a kid that was lovable, bravo. Your work is done.

I think what hurts me the most when watching my friends and family struggle with acceptance is that just because you are gay does not mean you do not have a heart. A heart that aches to be hugged, a heart that wants to be invited to Thanksgiving dinner to sit around a table with the rest of the dysfunctional family members, a heart that wants to see nieces and nephews, a heart that has memories of a past where sexuality never came into play.

I hope, that in 10 years, 20 years, 30 years, the idea of marriage equality, sexual orientation and everything that goes along with it is nothing. That the idea of two people getting married is just that… Two people. That the idea of spouse/partner is your signification other, gender unassigned. I want this chapter in history to be history.
I can tell you right now, that when Ty and I have a baby… if and when… I dont give a shit who the kid loves, I just want my kid to be happy and healthy. I also dont care what they get on their SATs but gosh darn-it, they are going to college.

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