I’m 31 and my husband had to teach me to put in a tampon

10 Oct

So this conversation came up awhile ago because I was complaining that my Tampon was sliding out. Ty told me that I was probably putting it in wrong.

TO THINK!

 

I, Mariann, period getter of about 18 years, have been putting my tampon in wrong…

 

Preposterous.

 

So we youtube it – and holy fucking shit, I have been doing it wrong. I also Texted Meg and Sarah to see what they thought… and yep, I am doing it wrong.

Apparently you are supposed to put the applicator IN you, then push the little stick thingie. I do not do this – I put the applicator at the base of my lady Flower and then push. We had a discussion at the lunch table and people were split… some put the applicator in, some didnt. Some of the people who didn’t, have been doing this tampon thing for a long time. So how could we have gotten wrong information?!?!?!

 

Well, when I got my period, my mom was out and I just tried to figure it out after my Dad led me to the place where my mom kept her feminine products (I hate using the phrase feminine products!). Another girl said that her mom put her in the bathroom and was like good luck, dont come out until you figure it out.

 

I swear! I swear I read the directions. Probably like a million times. You know you are sitting on the toliet trying to go number 2 and you look for something to read… and it is slim pickens.. Anyway, how does Ty know… and I dont?!

 

Well he’s seen plenty of tampons. I always have a causality tampon that breaks free from the wrapper and ends up at the bottom of my purse. So, when I clean out my purse, Ty sees them.  Ty has played with them before because he is curious on how they work and why they need a braided string (I HATE those, they leak on me… probably because I am not putting them in right duh). Ty naturally thought that you would put the applicator in you and then push.

 

Why didnt I think of that?!?!

 

Anyway, have I started putting my tampons in the correct way? – Fuck no. You cant break an 18 year habit like that

 

 

 

 

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3 Responses to “I’m 31 and my husband had to teach me to put in a tampon”

  1. Kathryn October 10, 2012 at 8:54 am #

    ouch! THAT SOUNDS SO PAINFUL TO HAVE THEM JUST SITTING THERE IN YOUR VAJAYJAY! omg! to actually FEEL them! ouchie lady ouchie! Well maybe now that you “know”, you’ll get pregnant and not have to use them for the next 9 months 🙂

    • maretilton October 10, 2012 at 9:44 am #

      Well they dont ALWAYS hurt, normally during the last few days of my period which is SUPER light, they hurt. Even the little bitty ones. I think my body, ever since the Ectopic pregnancy, has been alittle bit Different 🙂 Eh… Whateves 🙂 Panty Liners are my friends now and MUCH cheaper than tampons!

  2. Mrs. Wuestewald October 10, 2012 at 8:21 pm #

    Oh girly that must of hurt, but you learn something new everyday!

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