Taking OCD to a new level (Ovulating, Cervix, Doing It)

1 Oct

So…. since I think things are just smushy internal organs when I try to see where my cervix is during the month, I took to the internet to find photos.

Never a good idea.

Its like the time I entered “Hairy Kitty” into google Images. I really wanted to find a hairy cat, like feline…. I got some “interesting” photos to say the least. Ty did point out that the girls in the photos all had the name “Kitty” so Google was really working.

Anyway, here is the site I stumbled on… http://www.sisterzeus.com/cervob.htm

Dont say I didnt warn you!

Anyway so in my quest to Figure out if I am ovulating (I dont trust that blue line I got on the 18th or the cramps, they can be figments of my own imagination dammit!), Where my Cervix is and what is is doing and Doing it in hopes for a Baby T… I thought about buying a mirror… speculum… and going in.

Mind you this is CRAZY. Like Bat Shit Crazy.

Of course it is that time of the month when I am supposed to get my period so Crazy is tots normal for me. I mean, Tyler leaving out 4 forks randomly around the kitchen makes me think that he does nothing around the house (Kitchen can be spotless) is a reflection on how he feels about our relationship.  Crazy Like, he leaves his sock by the coffee table after I have repeatedly asked him not which causes a greater meltdown then Bald Britney Spears Going Ape Shit with her umbrella beating on the Paparazzi  or Crazy like when I am trying to leave work and turn left onto a busy street that the 6 cars that blocked me turning left are all in a major conspiracy against me, Like in the movie Mission Impossible (That move is all about double crossing right? Because I have seen all of them and I still am confused). CRAZY. Crazy. CRAZY.

So… Yeah, I am considering going in. I mean, so what if my husband walks in on me laying in the bathroom? ass naked? with a mirror shining into my vagina? with our super awesome flash light carefully propped at the right angle for perfect illumination? with a speculum protruding out of my vagina… Typical day in Trying to Conceive land to me, Right? I did think that should I do this and should Tyler walk in on me, I should turn the flash light to the SOS function, it would make it way more amusing.

This total operation would only cost me like TWENTY BUCKS TOPS. Amazon has speculum for like $7-10 bucks and I would just need to find a round mirror. Of course I have the super magnifying round mirror for tweezing my eye brows that I could use but that may be TOO much Information into my insides.

Im going to hold off though. I did already buy more ovulation tests and I have set up my appointment with the acupuncturist and I have another calendar all ready for printing for October depending on the day I get my period… Maybe I am all set.

Maybe I am causing my Ovaries to halt all future work because of my stress as Sarah said.

Maybe I am just crazy enough because we really want a baby and for the first time in my life, I cant make something happen… Something that I want more than anything else.

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