Nothing is Sacred Anymore

9 Sep

Ty mentioned that he was “bumping” into something hard the other night. I was like oh its probably my cervix, its low and hard right now. Not Fertile. He was like really? I said to google it and he said “yes you are right”. Oh the things that are said in the bedroom.

I then had a brilliant idea (yes I know that Meme has been on my blog before but really, there are so many different things that can be LOLed with that photo) – Since he knows my insides better than I do – he should check my cervix and report back to me. He did not go for that. He said I was taking all the fun out of having sex… Really? Isn’t that real intimacy? Using his Peen to tell me what degree of firmness and where my cervix is? Because you need to be close with a person to give that kind of feedback, right?

So no go on Ty being the monitor. I guess I will have to do it. He said, when you put your finger up there isnt it just swishy stuff? I told him pretty much, YES. I have no idea what is located where. I should probably be come a better TTC woman but I have no interest in feeling around in there right now, my skill is peeing on sticks and into cups which then have sticks inserted into them.

I showed him my P Tracker App which has an other tab to indicate if you:

  • Ovulated Today
  • Type of Cervical Mucus (Options are Dry or Not Fertile, Sticky or Not Fertile, Creamy or Possibly Fertile, Watery or Fertile and last but not least Egg White or Very Fertile.
  • Cervical Observation (Options include Position, Texture and Opening)

You would think I just showed Ty the inside of Pandora’s box. He had no idea what a treasure trove of information the Vagina was… Yes Tyler… not only does my Vagina do mysterious things, it also knows all the secrets of the world.

Anyone else out there in TTC land having a hard time figuring out (or did you have a hard time figuring this out before you had your kiddos, please tell me I am not alone)

a. where your cervix is

b. how is should feel

c. if its opened or closed (I really wish it had a neon sign that was Green for Open and Red for Closed, that way, I would just ask Ty when he was passing by if the store was open for business)

d. If its high or low – and what if my finger doesn’t reach it one day, I assume its high… but what if its not at its highest? UGH

e. Feeling slightly crazy doing all this stuff?

Happy Trying!


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