Girlie Things and Boats

31 Aug

So since I did get my period last night – which is actually comforting because as least I know – I am back on Tampon duty.

Its Labor Day weekend and Tys brother Jeff wants to go Sailing. We have a 23 Foot O’Day sailboat with a small (And I mean small, like maybe the size of a powder room) cabin. We are going to Overnight at the Naked Turtle (a bar in Plattsburgh) on the boat. There is no Bathroom on the boat (There is a bathroom at the marina but its like really super dark and I dont want to get molested) On the Boat I pee in the sink. The boys pee off the boat. HOW THE HELL am I going to work this tampon thing if I am peeing in the sink??!?!?! UGH

 

I told Ty this last night and hes like Ill help you, we can make it work. Ill find you a bag. Isnt he sweet ladies? He even goes in proudly and buys the right kind of tampons. He’s a keeper!

 

Short TMI Story. When we were in Puerto Rico in 2011 I had my period of the first day of the damn trip (I was late three days, I had it timed perfectly when I decided to go on the trip, day three, its almost over no big deal – but mother nature has other idea). I usually go through about 4 tampons start to finish on the first day. Not because they are soaked but because I dont want leakage. So we are in Puerto Rico, get off the Ferry and go to the beach, before the house. I am already having the disgruntle tampon that does not want to stay in me (ever since the Ectopic pregnancy, sometimes tampons just want to slide right on out even when they are really in there. I think I have strong pelvic muscles or something). So I am constantly nonchalantly doing the little two finger push on my vagina to get it back in there. I have to pee also, So I try to go behind a tree on the beach. Tampon comes almost out. I having no luck. I tell Ty. Ty is like take out the tampon and try again. So I do that, but now I have a used tampon… I cant really put it in my bag because there are animals on the island and I am afraid they will steal my bag (this is totally in my head) from the open windowed car. So I decide, I am burying the tampon. I apologize Puerto Rico for burying my tampon in the sand. I am sorry.You have a beautiful island, I didnt mean to just discard trash on it. Im super sorry.

 

Anyway, so the entire week we are in Puerto Rico, I am using tampons and stuff and just putting them into a zip lock bag that is within another plastic shopping bag in my suitcase. Why?

  • you cant flush them
  • I dont want to leave them in the trash – the animals seriously are fierce. We had a cat go through trash we put on the second story balcony. It even jumped on our screen window, scared the piss out of me
  • I was with four other dudes, dudes don’t like tampons and pads hanging out in the trash

So once we are back in the Airport before we go through the agricultural bag check, I open my suitcase and dispose of the bag of lady bits. I figured I had to do that before my suitcase was Xrayed. How would I explain that…. UMMMMM I hoard dirty tampons and pads? Yeah.

 

The troubles of being a girl.

 

In Other News – my Calendar fell off the wall last night and Jeff the Cat ate it. I need to get tape. I am using Painters Tape… We seem to have alot of it laying around, I wonder why ๐Ÿ™‚

 

So Happy Labor Day Weekend – I hope you get to enjoy some sun (wear sunscreen), spend time with loved ones, laugh, let out a fart now and then (and own it if it smells), and most of all smile. Take a look around and realize that life is beautiful.

 

Ill write a post for this weekend today – Its not baby related but its pretty funny, its about being resourceful and pooping ๐Ÿ™‚ I think its Sarah’s Favorite Story EVER

 

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4 Responses to “Girlie Things and Boats”

  1. Kathryn August 31, 2012 at 11:33 am #

    Sorry about the period starting =( But at least like you said, the anxiety is over. LOVE the picture of the cat, really made me laugh. And you are a brave woman for even being on a boat with a bunch of boys! Have fun!

    • maretilton August 31, 2012 at 11:38 am #

      Its really okay – I am sort of glad, I think September/October/November would make for a better time to be pregnant. I work at a tax firm, I didnt want to be HUGE and uncomfortable around April 15th where my office is literally a mental hospital. So, Try. Try. Try. Again… I am sure my husband will love me wiggling my naked ass around the house going “do me” for months to come.

  2. Kathryn August 31, 2012 at 11:35 am #

    Also, just sent that poop outside cat image to my coworker who just burst into laughter… you’ve made 2 people laugh today, thanks ๐Ÿ™‚

    • maretilton August 31, 2012 at 11:39 am #

      dont we all need alittle laughter in our lives? Jeffrey, the cat not Tys brother… really does want to just poop outside. I feel bad for the little guy, but we are on a busy road and I just love him too much to let him poop in the wild.

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