Off Topic – Hair Down There

13 Aug

Well I guess it is not really off topic because it has to do with the area that generally has to do with Babies so…
I used to be a shaver up until Senior Year of College when I met my ex-John. He was literally obsessed with no hair. He would shave his chest. Which was great until it started to grow in and it was like resting your head on a porcupine. No offense John if you read this! John also liked Girls that had their nipples pierced… I did that too and that was horrible. Why was I so impressionable and eager to please him? Maybe that’s why he is an ex. Anyway so he liked his lady free and clear… so I started to shave everything off. Now my mom and I never had that type of relationship, I didnt know what to do down there so  I would just keep it tidy and trim. This also was before the internet was like big so I didnt know how the ladies were wearing it and I could look. So I met John and took it all off. Shaving is not fun in general and its not fun down there. I think we can all atest


When I moved to VT I started to get waxes, at first it was Bikini then I went Brazilian. I LOVE my waxer at Stephen and Burns. Its literally painless and shes so great. I also recommend Urban Salon, they use the strip less wax which is awesome too. The reason I started waxing was because it was easier, lasted longer and I didn’t have to worry about the summer season.
Ever since I met Tyler I have just waxed in the Summer. And just a bikini wax, brazilians started to hurt alittle and really, I am too old for that shit. We have a boat and it makes it alot easier to just throw on a swim suit and go. But Tyler really does not carry if my vajayjay is smooth or alittle ja- junglely. Which is really nice because at least I do not have any social pressure, its just more of a convenience thing for me.


Since we are trying to save money I thought I would try Nair. Now Nair and I have a love hate relationship. I clearly remember using Nair maybe my freshman year of high school because hey it was all over the TV as the thing to do. I tried it and it BURNED. Literally BURNED. I thought my Vagina was going to fall off. It was horrible, it didn’t work, it was just beyond bad. I also tried Nair in College, again because of advertizing – new formula my ass- burned. Hurt. Cried. I thought I would give it a go again this year. I actually went for the Sally Hansen Simply Smooth Waterproof Cream.  Nair was not going to trick me with their new ad campaign of Brazilian Flowers or whatever they are pushing right now. I did read some reviews which say its awesome and wonderful although not really waterproof so dont just slap that shit on in the shower. I tried it and it worked! It did not burn at all. Which was great. I was smooth, I wanted to rub my vagina on every persons Face I saw because it was that smooth. Im sorry, TMI I know.


Fast forward to Saturday around like 2pm. My tender area started to hurt. I had ingrown hairs up the wazoooo….  Not even 24 hours later and I had ingrown hairs. So I put some Bikini Zone and called it a day. That night, more pain… I took my undies off in the middle of the night to find some relief.  Ty woke up in the morning and said “Honey, why are you missing your panties”. I replied my undies hurt. To which he said “have they hurt all 31 years that you have been wearing them?”. I explained to him what happened and I have been going panty-less since. Otherwise it F-ing hurts.


So… I am going to go back to Shaving. And when I get pregnant I think I will just ask Ty to shave me or maybe Sarah. I am sure Sarah will say no. But I would do it for her. Really I would, thats a true friend right there. Apparently Tori Spelling asked Dean to do that and if she can, I can. I really do not want to be on the table giving birth looking like the Miracle of Life woman. I feel like they had to use a machete just to get in the area while filming that birth. But that was the 80s and Bushes were in. This is 2012 and Bushes are not so in… apparently landing strips and ja-jazzling is in. I think I will stick to the middle ground and just shave and hope for the best. If a few hairs are astray… so what.


Please know this is just my crazy opinion. How ever you wear your hair down there is totally cool. Whatever works for you, works for you. I advocate for choice in the vagina area!



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