How do you hold a baby?

8 Aug

Like a Football – according to Sarah. Or at least that is how she thinks I hold a baby.
To be honest, I dont think I have held a baby since I was a kid myself. You know where your parents sit you down on the couch that is way oversized for you and then they put your new cousin or sibling in your arms and you just sit there, afraid to move? Thats the last time I have held a kid.

Why?

I do not want to be responsible for pissing the damn parents off. I mean if I held the kid wrong, or didnt support the head enough or god only knows and somewhere down the line the kid is damaged, it would so be my fault. I’m serious. I think like this, on a daily basis.

But I have not held a baby since 1985 probably. I was watching an episode of Pregnant in Heels while I was getting ready for a wedding and a couple had a similar issue. They had NO IDEA WHAT THE HELL THEY WERE DOING. I can at least tell you basic stuff. I haven’t read past week 5 of most of my baby books because frankly I do not want to jinx myself. I have read the lighter more comedic books where they talk about random things but I have not gotten to holding, swaddling (holy shit does that scare me) or any of that stuff yet. I will once I find out Im pregnant and its a good to go pregnancy. None of this funny business from before.
But anyway, getting back to the Pregnant In Heels episode. This couple was hopeless and overwhelmed. Both Ty and I felt bad but my god, I know we will not look that horrible.

The episode is here http://www.bravotv.com/pregnant-in-heels/season-2/episode-3-when-baby-robots-attack.

Anyway, I know that Ty and I will learn and things will come naturally but until then I am deathly afraid of holding someone else’s kid. If they are like 1 1/2 or older, I will hold. Yes. I have an age requirement on my interactions with kids. But a football? Really Sarah? Thanks 🙂

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One Response to “How do you hold a baby?”

  1. maretilton August 8, 2012 at 5:40 pm #

    By the way – Here is a section of gchat that Sarah and I had right after I posted this

    me
    post is about you again

    Sarah
    geee thanks

    me
    you said football.

    Sarah
    that is the impression u give me when u say u afraid of holding babies

    me
    you do realize I dont even know how to hold a foot ball
    right?

    Sarah
    exactly

    me
    like am I hutting or like running with it
    cause that is two different actions and holding patterns

    Sarah is busy. You may be interrupting.

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