Ring Toss?

2 Aug

So in my quest to not be Shining Crazy while on Birth Control… I tried the Nuva Ring and apparently Ty likes to call it “Ring Toss”. I will leave that up to your imagination to figure out what he means by that but its TMI for me to share here in detail.

At any rate – We played Ring toss one day and I lost my Nuva Ring. Straight Up LOST IT. It was not inside me where it should be and I could literally not find it ANYWHERE, in the bed, around the bed… it was like it vanished. Now it was close enough to when I was supposed to take it out in the cycle so I didnt panic or worry about anything in that aspect. Also Ty and I were also using other protection so things we gravy as far as I was concerned in that department. BUT WHERE WAS IT.

Fast forward to maybe a week later. It was a Sunday. I like to clean on Sundays – Its my day to wake up be lazy and just clean (I also like to clean the shower while I am in the shower. do you do that? I was wondering if thats like SUPER bad for you. We have switched over to 7th Generation and Method products so hopefully its not too toxic to do that).

ANYWAY,I was cleaning under the bed and I found the ring under my bed. Mind you, a few days early it was not under my bed. We checked. We double checked. At this same moment a cat of ours comes running into the bed room, flicking around a hair tie around wildly. I HAD MY ANSWER. My cat(s) must have found it before we noticed it was missing and used it as a play toy. I can tell you this for sure because there was so much cat hair and carpet fiber on this Nuva Ring, it had to have gone through every room of the house. And I cleaned under my bed religiously so that hair and carpet fiber was not from under the bed.

My cat(s) used my nuva ring as a toy. I have failed at being a good cat mama… or maybe I am super awesome because it was bigger than most of their circular ring toys and it had alittle bit more bounce then other toys but whatever.

The nuva ring was done. No more.

In fact no more birth control. The nuva ring did work for me. It was the only steady stream of hormones that didn’t make me really crazy. Other birth control made me legit nuts. I clearly can remember in college one time being so happy that my boyfriend was taking me to a hockey game the next night and within no more than 30 seconds being devastated that I was going to a hockey game opposed to a nice dinner out. Devastated was not the word actually. My boyfriend kindly suggested that I go to bed because I was that manic. And then he hung up on me because that set me over the deep end. I took his advice and went to bed.

I switched to Ortho-Tri whatever Low… that still made me completely nuts but only for 3 days out of the month opposed to 14 days out of the month so that was a start but my insurance was stingy on paying more than 5 dollars for that so it was expensive.

One doctor tried to put me on Yaz. I was severely against that because of the commercials. I’m sorry, the girl from Sweet Valley High the TV series (SERIOUSLY IMDB it… its her and why do I know that, Because I am awesome at pop trivia) trying to have a conversation at some roof top party about her new awesome birth control was not my cup of tea. It was such a bad commercial that it turned me off to the product. And the fact that it was recalled because the advertisers didn’t really tell all the side effects or something. I dodged a bullet on that one because of the crappy production value of the ad.

I could probably write a book about all the different types of oral birth control I have tried. I can count at least 10 different right now. They all made me look like this….

I posted the same photo because it was like THAT INTENSE.

Anyway, I gave up on the oral birth control, tried the nuva ring. Failed at that and then just gave up. I was not about to get a shot or an implant. It was just not something I wanted. So Condoms were our best friend for a very long time… Now I dont even know if we have them in the house. And if we do, they are really old and probably outdated.



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